Sometimes Fly Fishing and Religion don’t mix

How many times have you heard fly fishing and religion in the same sentence? How often do you read about the spiritual nature of the sport and how the soul is placed at ease whilst angling?

Well, let me tell ya…fly fishing and religion met in a very unique way for me last night, and being one who is always up for a good laugh, I thought I would share.

There is a fella starting a new company here in the U.S. and one of his products are hooks. I was fortunate enough to receive a free pack of scud hooks in the mail from him and in a fit of absent mindedness I laid them on the kitchen table.

My wife was not home and I was trying to get four kids ready for our churches evening service. If you have never tried to get four children ready to go anywhere quick, it is like trying to put four spastic rainbow trout in a greasy sack. Chaos.

So my youngest (2 yrs.) comes walking into the kitchen and sees the pack of hooks. I dash over, grab them and just shove the pack into my pocket as I shuttle the oldest two into the van and try to get the wild man which is my son to not wear his sandals to church. I pick up the littlest one and put her in her car seat. ZOOM! We are off to church.

I deposit my kids in their appropriate classes and head to the sanctuary. Our church is very contemporary in our evening service. Lights low in the pews, loud music, it is a real event. Anyway, when the music starts we all stand up to sing when this incredible pain shoots into my thigh. I am thinking muscle cramp and sit back down. This is when I realize that the hooks are in the process of doing that which hooks are designed to do. Amidst the praise and worship I am being impaled!!!

“Gotta get to the bathroom”, I think to myself and step out of the pew. The trouble is that with every step the hooks are digging into my leg. So, I walk stiff legged, much like Chester on the old Gunsmoke series, to the bathroom. Thankfully upon stepping into the stall and dropping my trousers, I see that the barb of these three assailants has yet to go below my skin. Removing the hooks was easier than I thought and after wiping the small trickles of blood from my leg, I returned to the service in time to hear one of my all time favorite songs (Revelation Song for those who might want to check it out).

So in closing, what did I learn from this? 1) Don’t leave hooks where a two year old can get them, 2) When leaving the house for anything other than fishing there is no need to have hooks in your pocket, 3) sometimes fly fishing and religion meet and it isn’t peace, serenity, and well being…sometimes its downright painful.

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